Saturday, July 27, 2013

Seven Weeks

Baby Noah, you're almost two months old!  Time is going so fast.  I can't wait 'till you sleep through the night so I feel like a human again.  You are lucky you're so cute.

  • How old is Noah?:  Seven Weeks
  • Noah is how big?: 12.2 lb apparently the wii was wrong last time... =(
  • Sleep: The nights are great, his first set is about five hours and the second set about four.  Then we try and sneak another three hour set afterwards but usually he wakes up early since the daylight is right in the nursery window.  During the day he mostly has two hour naps with an hour of awake time in between.
  • Milestones: He smiled for real!  Like more then once!  He's much more fun when he's awake.  He's also getting very smart.  He used to go down for naps no problem before but hes learning what's going on when that happens and as soon as you put him down he immediately starts crying to tell you he did not like that.  It usually lasts less than ten minutes though so not too terrible. 
  • Baby "Win" of the Week:  Noah had a great feeding this week of over a half hour... which would be good until five minutes later when cuddling with mom he puked all down moms v-neck shirt.... note to self - t-shirts work best so puke doesn't get in your bra and all the way down inside your shirt to your pants.  Noah: 1 - Mom: Negative 20
  • What Mom misses: A day off "work"  You really take your days off real work for granted until you realize you'll never have a day off when you're a mom.
  • Weigh Progress: 126... and hopefully I'll keep going down. (down 4 from pre-preg) I've been cleared for stronger workouts but honestly I'm too tired to even consider working out. Maybe next month will be better. 
  • Best Moment of the Week:  Seeing Noahs first real smile.  He kinda even squealed a little!
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Noah's two month appointment in a couple of weeks.  The Dr. is going to be very impressed by how big he's gotten. =)

"Bye guys!  See ya next week!"

Thursday, July 18, 2013

How come no one told me?

I think for most young people it's normal to at some point want to get married and have a family. It sounds so perfect and so fun to grow up.  Planning your perfect wedding, buying a house, getting to spend lots of time with your significant other, finally having kids and raising them to love you.  It sounds easy and nice and fun.  The problem with that idea is that it's not necessarily all true. Yes, I'm sure when you look back at your life, you're old and grey... you'll think it was all that, but as you live that moment it's not always as you thought it would be.  No one tells you what really happens when you're older.  That life as an adult is actually pretty hard.  To enjoy the freedom and fun of being single and unattached to any major responsibility. To wait to get old because there is plenty of time for the hard stuff.

I'm almost six weeks in as a Mom and I can tell you it's nothing like I was expecting.  It's hard.  It's really hard.  Ya, I knew I was going to have some sleepless nights and that my body was going to be a human cow but I figured it couldn't be all that bad.  I have a great helpful husband who will do as much as he can, and a lot of caring family members. A couple of months and it'll all be better, right? 

I was wrong.  It's not just a couple of sleepless nights.  It's every night.  Up three or four times.  And yes I'm a cow.  I'm the only cow in the house.  Husband... still a man.  Wife...the only cow.  And the maternity leave I thought would be so nice?  Not so nice.  It's called maternity leave and not vacation for a reason.  There would be no time for work.  You feed, you play you put them to sleep.  You hope they sleep.  Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.  When they do, you take a shower because otherwise you might miss out that day.  And you eat if you remember.  If you're really lucky you might get around to cleaning the bathroom or putting some laundry in.

When they don't sleep, you wait it out for a little hoping for a miracle, then it keeps going and you try to fix whatever problem they might have.  Since talking isn't an option you guess and you do your best and then you walk away again hoping again they'll calm down.  But they don't and that's when things get dicey.  You start to stress out. They scream louder and louder until they start chocking on their spit because it's such an intense cry so you go in and try to soothe them and for like five seconds they're ok, but then they start again and you wonder what the hell is their problem because you've done everything you possible could do to take care of them.  Then you start questioning what kind of parent you are and if you're good enough and eventually they really just get to you.  And for me, personally, I just have to put them down.  I walk outside and just cry it out.  You wish you would have never had this kid. You wanna give them back and never see them again. And then you feel bad for even thinking that. It sucks.  It really sucks.

Hopefully someone else is in the house to take the load off, but most of the time no one is around.  Its just you.  Your wonderful husband who you thought you'd be raising this child with has a job. Of course someone has to work.  You get it, and you hate it all at the same time.  But alas, you better man up because this kid needs you.  You walk back in the house and put him back on the cow because for the most part that's the only thing that shuts him up. Then you change his diaper and you start the cycle all over again.  This time, you hope he falls asleep. 

This was just about two hours of your day. 

They say it gets better.  And I'm sure it does.  I can't imagine why other parents have more kids after the first one otherwise.  It's just not what you think of when you're young and decide you want a family.  I wish someone would have told me what really happens. 

For the people who wait, I envy your decision.  I thought I had waited long enough.  I thought I was ready.  But maybe I am ready and this is just the way it is.  Maybe I wouldn't have been any more ready five years from now.  It's hard to really say.  But what I will say, is that if you don't have kids yet, really think twice about what your doing.  I'm not saying it wont be the best decision you'll ever make and that your kids wont make you the happiest person in the world.  But it's hard and you need to be ready.  Mentally prepare yourself for it because there is no turning back. I finish writing this, it has taken me over two hours. Not because of the amount of words, but because I'm a mom and I have someone to take care of.  In the last two hours I fed, and changed diapers, I cuddled and played.  Noah "played" great today and even held his rattle all by himself. Then was the nap routine in which this time the crying began for him as described above.  And I soothed and came back to the computer and he settled, and he cried again and I rocked and he kept crying... until finally, it was over.  Sometimes the light does shine at the end of the tunnel. You catch a glimpse.

I have not cried yet today and I'm hoping for a tear free day.
I just wish someone would have prepared me for this.
I wish someone would have told me the truth about being a mom.
It's hard.  It's really hard.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Five Weeks

Five weeks today! This little buddy is not little anymore.  He is getting huge... and heavy!  I really have to work on my arm strength otherwise I'm not gonna be able to keep up with him!

  • How old is Noah?:  Five weeks
  • Noah is how big?: 14lb 2oz 
  • Sleep: After a terrible afternoon and evening of constant feeding and fussiness he slept almost six hours!  We were so surprised.  We're hoping he can start doing that more because it should would be nice.  I'm crossing my fingers but preparing for it to have just been a fluke. =(  We'll see. For the most part though he's been sleeping three four hour blocks so I really can't complain.
  • Milestones: Much more alert and the beginning of smiles are starting to show.  He's also starting to get much better control of his arms and hands.
  • Baby "Win" of the Week:  Noah fusses for at least eight hours driving mom and grandma crazy but finally falls asleep (for dad) and stays sleeping for almost six hours!  I think we both kind of won... Noah 1 - M 0&D 1
  • What Mom misses: A life outside this house although I did go to the post office on my own and blasted some music on the way there and back and it felt great!
  • Weigh Progress: 128lbs - 2lbs under pregnancy weight - woop!
  • Best Moment of the Week:  Having Grandma come visit and help with Noahs fussy nights.  Plus it was nice to hang out and talk. =)
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Some real baby smiles.

"Hi Uncle Andrew!"

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

First Smile

I've literally been doing every possible funny noise and face to get Noah to smile and even though I'm pretty sure it was a fluke, I think I caught Noahs first smile. 
If he can do this all the time I will be a much happier Momma.

What a cutie! =)
...and happy one month to you!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Fourth of July

Happy late Fourth of July from baby Noah!

He slept right through the fireworks like it was no big deal.  
He even gave us our first five hour stretch of sleep. Super nice.
Noticed he was getting much heavier over the weekend and came home to weigh him.  
He is 10.8lbs! What a big boy!